Deborah Mitchell Counselling

The Christmas holidays can be a time of immense pressure – financial, social, and emotional.

Here are some practical mental health tools and strategies you can use to manage Christmas stress:

🎄 Planning and Boundary Tools (see also, Boundaries in my Resources).

These tools help you regain a sense of control over your schedule and commitments, which are often major stressors.

• Set Realistic Expectations: The ‘perfect’ holiday depicted in media is often an unrealistic ideal.
  • Tool: Accept that things don’t have to be perfect. Aim for “good enough” instead of flawless. Focus on meaningful moments over perfection.
• The Power of “No”: Your time and energy are finite resources.
  • Tool: Practice politely declining invitations or tasks that will overburden you. Say, “Thank you so much for the invitation, but I won’t be able to make it this year,” or “I’d love to help with the dessert, but I can only manage to bring the bread.”
• The Three-Task List: Break down your holiday to-do list to make it manageable.
  • Tool: Divide your list into Must-Do, Should-Do, and Could-Do tasks. Focus only on the Must-Do list until it’s finished. Be willing to delegate or drop the others if necessary.
• Stick to a Budget: Financial strain is a top holiday stressor.
  • Tool: Create a clear spending plan for gifts, food, and travel. Consider thoughtful handmade gifts or a “Secret Santa” exchange to reduce the gift buying load.

🧘 Mind-Body Coping Tools

These are in-the-moment practices to reduce physical and emotional tension.

• Box Breathing (or 4-7-8 Breathing): A quick way to calm your nervous system.
  • Tool: Inhale slowly for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, exhale slowly for a count of four, and pause for a count of four before inhaling again. Repeat this several times.
• Take a “Time Out” Break: When a situation gets tense, step away before you react.
  • Tool: Excuse yourself for five minutes. Go for a short walk outside, step into a quiet room, listen to a calming song, or practice your breathing.
• Mindfulness/Anchoring: Ground yourself in the present moment.
  • Tool: Use the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique to stop a rushing mind: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
• The Laughter Prescription: Laughter reduces stress hormones.
  • Tool: Keep a funny movie clip or video ready on your phone, or share a fun memory with a friend.

🏃 Lifestyle and Wellness Tools

Maintaining healthy habits is your best defence against stress burnout.

• Prioritize Sleep: Disrupted routines make stress worse.
  • Tool: Stick to your regular bedtime and wake-up time as much as possible, even when traveling or after a party.
• Maintain Activity: Exercise is a powerful stress reliever and mood booster.
  • Tool: You don’t need a gym. Try a brisk 20-minute walk, a short yoga routine, or dancing while you’re cleaning or decorating.
• Limit Indulgence: Overconsumption of alcohol and sugar can negatively impact your mood and sleep.
  • Tool: Enjoy holiday treats in moderation. Drink plenty of water throughout the day, and avoid using alcohol as your primary coping mechanism for stress.
• Create Space for Grief: If you have experienced loss, the Christmas holidays can be especially painful.
  • Tool: Acknowledge your feelings. Dedicate time to remember your loved one. Create a ritual of remembering, light a candle, cook their favourite meal, or share a positive memory with someone you trust.

When to Seek Help

If stress, anxiety, or sadness feels overwhelming, lasts longer than a few days, or starts to interfere with your ability to function, please consider contacting a crisis line (see Help Lines in my Resources) or phone NHS 111 for Out of Hours advice.